Weightloss Wednesday!

Weight Loss Wednesday- MY STORY (Big Sis)

I am so excited to share this journey with you guys!! I hope my journey can help someone as they are starting their journey or going through it as I am! I, like many, have always struggled with my weight. In High School I was definitely the big girl. Nothing inside of me would go back to the years of High School. It was not enjoyable to me. I had many friends... but I do not feel during those years in my life I had any REAL, DEEP friendships. Something stupid happened when I was ending my 9th grade year and I let it affect a lot of who I was... I quit everything I had been involved in.... and just really pulled away from any good friends that I did have. I am so thankful that God brought my husband to me when I was 16 years old... because he was my closest friend during those harder years. I have wanted to go to my 10 year reunion- but the closer we get, I am not sure I do want to go... anyone that was important to me then still keeps in touch with me and I know I don't need a reunion to see them, even if that is only like two girls, haha! :)
My husband and I when I was at my ideal weight in 2007.

My son and I... last week.... not at my ideal weight 2012! 
*Pictures during the blog were taken from 2007-2009*

I went to college and added that Freshman 15 PLUS some. I really got up there in weight. To this day I do not know how my husband could marry me. I was over 220lbs and I am only like 5'3. I think I have used food to suppress all of my emotions. When I am happy- EAT! When I am mad- EAT! When I am sad-EAT! Anything... EAT! Food use to be a constant on my mind... and if I don't stay focused, it still can be. When my family is together- we all eat! LaFinca, anyone? Anyways- I have always, always been the BIGGER FRIEND. In 2007 I graduated with my teaching degree and decided I would NOT be that fat teacher. I wanted to be the cuter, young teacher. I lost a lot of weight.... Got down to my lowest of 147. It felt awesome to fit into clothes- fit into anything... and my goodness.. TO NOT be in the double digits in pants- Can I get an AMEN!? 


I loved life ... but was still so focused on my weight that I never could enjoy the fact that I truly was not that obese/overweight girl anymore. I didn't see the beauty in ME! Makes me sick today... I wish I had realized and REMEMBERED how much work it was and did not let myself go. I loved my first year of teaching- I met an amazing friend and I am soooooo soooooo sad that we are not together anymore. I felt great. I even ran a half marathon in 2007... Overall it was great.... then in 2008 we went to Japan! :) And..... I ate. I LOOOOOVED the food! I only put on about 15lbs there before I got pregnant.. but still that is 15lbs that I am still trying to get off. Although I had gained weight and enjoyed their food- I still FAITHFULLY worked out- sometimes two times a day... I was always trying to get back to that 150 range! But I was still loving life. Nothing was holding me back for sure. I had an amazing teaching job and had made some forever friends that became my family. Life was good. 

In 2009 we went on an adventure. We had went to Tokyo to climb Mt. Fuji.. and we did. It was wonderful. Even more wonderful THAT I could do it... and be the second couple with our group to finish! I did it, I was still in shape. I felt awesome. The night after we climbed Mt. Fuji I did something I NEVER do. I went to the hotel bar with my husband and had a couple of drinks. Then we went back to our room and I enjoyed a glass of wine. We had taken a tour with our base and had to take the bus trip back to our base up North.. It was a good 10 hour ride! However, I was so nauseous and sick the whole time. About three hours into the trip, ON THE TOUR BASE, I started throwing up. Bless my husbands' heart... he was so great at cleaning it up. I know it was so embarrassing because we were with so many people that we did not know! :) I didn't feel well pretty much the whole trip. 

The next morning I was telling a friend about our trip and telling her how I got sick. Of course her response was 'are you pregnant?' Haha. I was like- uh, no! However, after five home tests the doctor confirmed that I was pregnant. SHUT UP!!! Us, who had been married seven years... having a baby!??! I was five weeks pregnant and had just climbed Mt. Fuji. It is so funny... I truly had no clue. How exciting. So I did pretty well in regards to eating while I was pregnant.. I quit working out for sure, because I am lame like that! :) Between working full time and being pregnant- I was tired. I didn't really gain most of my weight until the end.. and I blew up. BUT by the time my monkey was two weeks old I was down in the 170s.. where I started... only up five pounds. It was exciting... 

But I never, EVER, claimed control on myself again. My booger turns two next week.. and here I sit almost where I was years ago. Sad and sickening. I remember in September or October of 2009 I was skyping with my mom and brother and he was laughing at me. He was telling me how they were looking at old pictures and how he was just shocked that I was so FAT! I can take this from him because he meant it all in love and humor... and it did not bother me, because at that point, I was pregnant and I had not gained the weight back. He had told me how proud he was of me... I am so thankful that he can't see from heaven that I have done it again... I am still working on the days when I get consumed with memories of my big brother, to go somewhere besides food. While my mom was here last week she was taking pictures and I told her that I don't like my pictures and I am just so big. She assured me I am not. I told her that she just loves me and I reminded her of when her and my brother looked at pictures when I was younger.. and were shocked. I told her that when I do this again she will look back to those pictures in San Francisco and be shocked that I was really that big. Isn't it funny that when you TRULY love someone- you don't see their weight- but you see what they are from the inside? How many of us can say we love someone like that! 

But here I am! Happy Weight Loss Wednesday! You now know my story. I have been trying for a few months to get my mojo back and get started... and slowly I have lost a pound here or there... and I am so encouraged that my blogging friends will be taking this journey with me. I welcome your ideas, tips, struggles as well. Let's do this, friends! 

One of my favorite things to eat is TILAPIA! I know a lot of people don't care for fish... but I enjoy it. Not to mention, when I eat it- I see such a great loss. Eggs, Fish, Chicken- sign me up! :) One of my favorite Tilapia recipes 
that my family also enjoys is Parmesan Tilapia. I will be sharing the recipe at the end of the blog. First I wanted to share with you a list of 50 reasons I will do this!!! I hope you enjoy... 

Reasons I WILL Lose Weight and Achieve Optimal Health
1.   I want to feel good about myself for the first time in my life.
2.   I want my husband to feel proud of me on his arm.
3.   I want to be able to run and play with Noah and not lose energy.
4.   I want to make Shane proud again, even though he isn’t on this earth anymore. I remember how proud he was of me when I lost all my weight a few years ago. (Miss my brother)
5.   I want a better sex life!
6.   I don’t want to feel my fat shake.
7.   I want to feel beautiful for the first time in my life.
8.   I want Nathan to think I am beautiful.
9.   I don’t ever want Noah to tell me that my belly is big.
10.    I don’t want to be embarrassed in public.
11.    I want to be able to wear anything that is in my closet.
12.    I want to enjoy shopping.
13.    I want to shop at Victoria’s Secret.
14.    I would love to share clothes with my sister. 
15.    I want to live a long, healthy life.
16.    I want Nate to be physically attracted to me where he can’t get enough of me.
17.    I don’t want to feel intimidated around other women.
18.    I want Nate to be proud of what I have done.
19.    I want Noah to be proud of me as his Mommy.
20.    I want to be “cute” pregnant with our next baby.
21.    I want to strip for my husband.
22.    I want to dance with Nate and not feel self conscious. 
23.    I want to think that I look good in pictures. 
24.    I don’t want to be the “fat girl” anymore.
25.    I want to be active again.
26.    I want to be the cool, fit Mom.
27.     I want to go to a formal, like the Air Force ball, with Nathan.
28.    I want to live a life of being skinny. 
29.    I don’t want to be losing weight forever. 
30.    I want to be successful. 
31.    I want to smile and be happy, honestly. 
32.    I hate me and I want to love me! 
33.    I have so much potential, I want to use it! 
34.    I want to be a good role model to Noah.
35.    I want to be a good role model for my students. 
36.    I want to break free from the chains that food has held over me for all of these years. 
37.    I want to walk proud. 
38.    I want to have a nice stomach, even with my scars from surgery. 
39.    I want to feel comfortable to go to a pool with my husband and son. 
40.    I would love to run another half marathon.
41.    I want to do family runs, bike rides, hikes, etc. 
42.    I want to let the girl that has been hidden inside me for all my life, out!
43.    I want to feel comfortable having sex… 
44.    I want to WANT to leave the lights on… 
45.    I want to share clothes with my friends. 
46.    I have been successful in a lot of areas of my life- I want to be successful in this area as well. 
47.    I want to wear my heels comfortably again.
48.    I want to be the pretty teacher again. 
49.    I want to rely on food for survival only and get rid of the addiction I have. I have used it as an emotional crutch for too long. 
50.    I want to who God created me to be me!

*Pictures below were from Last Week*


Now for that recipe! 

Parmesean Tilapia

What you need:

  • 1/2 cup Parmesan cheese
  • 1/4 cup butter, softened
  • 3 tablespoons mayonnaise
  • 2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
  • 1/4 teaspoon dried basil
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
  • 1/8 teaspoon onion powder
  • 1/8 teaspoon celery salt
  • 2 pounds tilapia fillets

Directions

  1. Preheat your oven's broiler. Grease a broiling pan or line pan with aluminum foil.
  2. In a small bowl, mix together the Parmesan cheese, butter, mayonnaise and lemon juice. Season with dried basil, pepper, onion powder and celery salt. Mix well and set aside.
  3. Arrange fillets in a single layer on the prepared pan. Broil a few inches from the heat for 2 to 3 minutes. Flip the fillets over and broil for a couple more minutes. Remove the fillets from the oven and cover them with the Parmesan cheese mixture on the top side. Broil for 2 more minutes or until the topping is browned and fish flakes easily with a fork. Be careful not to over cook the fish.

Taken from: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/broiled-tilapia-parmesan/


WLW Stats:
Starting Weight: XXX (held private for now)

Wed. 3/21: -13lbs


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