A few days ago I stumbled upon the Sweat Pink Ambassador prompting of "My Aha Moment..." and realized that although I have been an ambassador for about 2 years now I have never written about my Aha moment. Maybe that is because it's not easy to know what my Aha Moment is....so I just sat on it for a few days, or maybe two weeks. I have been racking my brain trying to remember, and decide when my Aha moment was, and what it meant to me. Here's how I came to remembering and understanding.
So, sitting here at 1.5 months (almost 2 now) postpartum, and working to get back in shape, I have finally gotten to start running again. I was really impressed with myself for running 1 mile without stopping the first time getting back out there. Then I got up to 1.5 miles. On my 2nd night running this mile and a half distance I had the thought in my head..."OMG, I'm just ready for this run to be over..." and it hit me, my legs were really fine in the run, but more than my physical strength being weak, I had lost the mental strength that running long distance had trained my mind in. Use to a run was such an ease for me that it was peaceful, and wonderful. It was freeing and adventurous and time away for me. I loved a long run. Now at a measly 1.5 miles I was dying to be DONE!
Then it hit me, I believe my AHA MOMENT came in summer of 2012 when I first began really running. I hadn't come to the decision/desire to run a half marathon yet, but I had just been running 1-2.5 miles to keep in shape. I remember a day running 2 miles and realizing how easy it had become for me. I wasn't spending my entire run trying to control my breathing or hoping for the run to end. I had started to enjoy these runs, and not even think about my breathing because my breath had become naturally controlled because this run became easy for me. And that was my Aha Moment.
I think that moment turned over a new leaf for me. That is when I decided to challenge myself to run longer distances, and when I started training with my sister for my first half marathon. And the journey that that started, was one I love and hold dear. That summer became my favorite summer. I would spend my early evenings after work drinking iced coffee and sewing, then spend dusk time on my evening run. I loved the time of day; of watching the sun come down, the West Texas sky painted a million colors, the warm breeze, and running with ease because I had learned to love running. Running became a time to relax, to release my thoughts, to enjoy time alone, to feel good about myself, to challenge myself, to find adventure in new mileages, to feel free running through the wide open, windy roads.
It was wonderful, and even now, when it's summer and I taste iced coffee, or feel that perfect time in the evening when the sun starts going down. I feel it deep within me. The urging and desire to put my feet to the pavement and start running!
And now, two months postpartum, I feel that desire every day. But when I get out there, it's not as easy as it used to be, so I am just taking it slow. Getting my grip on those low mileages, so that when I do I can easily progress into those long peaceful runs I used to know. And I can't wait for that day. Until then, I will push through the negative thoughts and the worn out breathing, and I will keep clocking those miles!
Just Keep Running!
Thankful for my Aha Moment and what it did in me!