Just a List...

So what is new in our life?

1. We are LOOOOOVING Florida. I find it so odd that in the first month here I felt happier and more connected than I did in the 16 months spent in California. I keep wondering why in my head... I wonder why I never truly felt happy, content, or connected with the place we were going to call home for a very long time. We had bought our dream home, we made some of the best friends we would ever have in this military journey, and we belonged to a good church... so what was the deal? Just in my crazy brain I am feeling like maybe, just maybe, the Lord wasn't letting me get comfortable or complacent there because He knew what the plan was for our future.. I am so thankful for this because if I had become closer with more than the one couple that we were close with... it would have been THAT much harder for me to leave. When we came home from Japan it was so HARD. I left some great friends and came back to this foreign country that was no longer my home... but I made it work. Just when I started feeling at home in California the news of Nate cross training came and a month later we found out we were expecting another baby.... God has been so gracious to us and it is so amazing. Florida is grand. I have never been a beach person, but I feel myself SLOWLY becoming one!! I love it. I love going, not to sun bathe or any of that jazz, but to enjoy life with my family! This is the first base we have come to with a set of friends already. The guys Nate went to school with in Texas all came here too... and it has been very different knowing people and so great. But I also find it makes it where I am OKAY not venturing out to meet others, I don't feel the need... and well, that isn't good! But we are loving Florida..... who knows what will happen. We always said we would retire in Texas..... but!!!

2. Nate leaves on his first TDY in a couple of months (well not even)... I will be a single mom (kinda) to two children for about two months! I know I can do it and I am SO excited for the love of my life to take this adventure! He wanted this job for this reason and I am so glad he gets to start traveling this soon! We certainly love having Daddy home every night with us!! It has changed little boy dramatically and honestly, our relationship is so much closer and better too. This was in the works for a couple of years. In Japan I had a couple of really great friends and I didn't rely on my husband or cling to him like I should.. I learned in the past two years that I need to be best friends with HIM first... before other friends. I think this is what helps me in life not having a huge circle of friends. I consider myself blessed to have mom and sister as my best friends... and then even more blessed to have the handful of good friends that I have. We have been married over 10 years and I can tell you that each day brings new challenges, but each day also brings a new sense of growth and I love it. Ok, so I just went off on a tangent.. Nate leaves for a TDY soon.. please pray for him.

3. We are looking at buying another house. Yes, that means we will own a house in California and in Florida. Just sent in all of our paper work today.. and we are viewing our 2nd house on Saturday. Pray that the Lord will let us know! We really love the pictures... the location isn't IDEAL, but it isn't awful either! Praying that the Lord makes his way known to us....

4. My desire. My heart... is to homeschool these kids. I just keep praying that this is the Lord's plan for our family. I get sick sometimes realizing that Noah is 3.5 and if we put him in school- he will be going soon. I don't want this... but I have to honor my husband too. I know he struggles knowing I sit here with my Masters Degree and thinking of the money we put into my schooling (and are still paying for) and I am just at home with kids... but he is so great about it. But I know he thinks I should go back to work, and friends, I don't want that. I WANT to homeschool my children! Please pray. Pray that whatever the Lord has planned for us will be revealed and we will be at peace. Be it my going back to work- that I will be at peace with it and honor my husband. Be it my staying home indefinitely with our babies and homeschooling them- that it be the husbands' decision and he WANT it. Please pray. This is so heavy on my heart.

5. I want, want, want to make money to help contribute. Yesterday I broke down crying when something else fell through. And this time it was stupid. It was being an administrator for a co-op... probably much more work than I need on my plate and hardly any money... but I just broke down when I didn't get it. I feel so inadequate.... I feel like I can't get a job if I wanted it. I almost feel, not wanted.. and  that sucks. I have applied for job after job after job keeping kids... no one. I don't get it. My sister said yesterday 'maybe you are just suppose to NOT have a job for this season.' Uh, yea.. I have figured that one out... but I don't like it. I miss helping financially... NO, I do NOT want to work outside the home, I just want to bring money into my family while being home all day with my kids. Is that really too much to ask for HAHAH! But really, I had a stinking melt down yesterday and then I looked at my baby boy with his baby blues.. and I remembered. I have been called to be a mother, which I LOVE! I know that the Lord will provide for me and my family... be it with a job or not... He will provide.

6. My Facebook Hiatus.. it is NOT over. However, due to certain groups or buys I have been part of lately, I have had to log on for those reasons.. .and then my phone is filling up with the videos I have taken and I don't want to delete them.. so you might see them sneak on there for our family. I am not scrolling through FB during the day or night at all and I have only gotten on a few times. Pictures or videos are uploaded from my phone! So, where you might see life on FB, note I am not there. I have seen some recent messages and responded... so if you really need me.. message me, because I am not looking at comments at all.. oh and my phone number changed. I don't even know what it is.. HAAH! But being off line for this time has been simply amazing! Renewed. My time in the early hours before anyone is awake is spent in the word, cleaning up, thinking about working out, and getting breakfast prep- OH and drinking coffee! Amazing!

7. Me. Yea, I am still struggling. I sure wish there WAS a magic pill. I don't understand why I am not losing weight... I eat healthy and I am active enough... maybe not working my tail off like I did a year ago... but I am working on loving me, as I stated before. I had a goal by 2 weeks from now when a friend comes, and I know I didn't reach it.. but it is what it is. I failed at the challenge group I Was in... but I am trying not to beat myself up about it. It is what it is... and IT will be ok. The. End.

8. My sister is coming to visit. I am SO excited. I can't wait to share pictures with you about our time together at the beach. I can't wait for late nights chatting with my sis.. I can't wait to see her snuggle with my babies.... to get to know my little lady! I just can't wait to be with her. I wish it were longer, but beggars can't be choosers. I didn't expect to see her this soon so I know I am blessed!! YES. In less than a week these Billingsley girls will be together again!! Hallaleuerrr!

9. Swell Church! I posted about Swell Church a couple of weeks ago. It is amazing to see the work that this church has done in the past year to prep for their launch... which is THIS SUNDAY by the way! It is also amazing to me to know that the Lord was preparing this church for us and us for this church!! It is great to know we will have this church family for years to come as we live life here in Florida! Please be in prayer as we launch this weekend. Nate is the media guy making sure the Powerpoint and all that jazz is going well.. and I am coordinating the infant and toddler room- perfect so I can be with my babies. The pastors have opened their arms to our family and we have truly never felt loved from another church family like we have them! Thank you Lord for sending Swell Church to us!

I guess that is all! I had a lot on my mind.. so figured I would do a list! I hope you are all doing well!

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