It's been a while....

It's Been A the name of a 2001 hit song by Staind...also a song that my brother liked.

It's been a while is the title of my blog, because
It's been a while since I have seen my BROTHER!

I cannot believe that in just a few more weeks it will have been 2 YEARS!!! since I have seen my big brother !

That completely blows my mind!

I hate that I have to MISS him!

I hate that he is gone!

I still remember the last hug I gave him and the last words I said to him.

I still remember his laugh, and his silly voices.

I hate that he will not be an uncle to my kids one day!

I hate that I will not get to celebrate Christmas with him, one of his favorite holidays....this year or any other year in my lifetime!

I hold on to the memories that I do have of him!

I know my brother was not a perfect person, but I looked up to my brother so much!

My brother was always there for me and my sister!

Even though he beat us up when we were little.....he would beat any person up now who messed with us!

I trusted him!

He took care of me!

He loved me and adored me as his little sister!

I remember one of the things I looked forward to most for my wedding day....LITERALLY....was what sweet words my brother would say to me!

He was so sweet to me!

He cared about me!

And.....I didn't get to hear what he would have said....but in my heart of hearts....I KNOW!

I miss him, and it's been WAY TOO LONG since I have seen MY Big Brother.

On December 3rd will be two years since MY BROTHER lived on this earth....
It will be 2 YEARS since the DADDY of three sweet little kids lived on this earth.....
It will be 2 years since MY MOM got to see her SON....and it will also be two years since the last time she held HER SON!