Hello All! My name is Lynn and I blog over at Illegally Blonde. I began my blog to document my first year of marriage and practicing law. It has grown to much more! No I'm in my second year of practice I blog about the struggles of working full time, maintaining a healthy lifestyle and marriage.
Yes, I am a former beauty queen. I competed in pageant to help fund my college and law school education. I loved it! I met great new friends and have wonderful opportunities to touch the lives of women fighting domestic violence. So, when the crown was off and I resumed normal life I had a hard time well, umm, getting back into the groove.
|Non finalist talent award|
I was never fat to begin with, and I had always has a healthy body image until post pageant. I binged my first couple weeks post pageant. Ate carbs, ice cream, cereal, sodas... I gained some weight. I then noticed the change in other people's perception of me. They noticed that my clothes fit a little more snug and I did not get as much attention my boyfriend. Let's be honest people I was still very slim and practically no body fat! But somehow, 25 year old, 120 pound me became obsessed.
I know now it was a contol issue. I had no control over so many other aspects of my life from beginning law school, to my love life. I could control my weight. It started with monotonous dieting. I ate the same thing everyday because I knew exaclty how many calories it was. I was weigh myself everyday to make sure I kept it off. I looked at my body in mirrors from every angle every day. Then law school happened. It got worse. I uped my workouts and lowered my calorie intake. I was obssessed with being skinny. If I couldn't be the smartest, I wanted to at least be pretty. Pretty in my mind was being thin. Sure I was healthy for the most part. I learned how to make my favorite foods better for me using substitutes. I worked out which kept me alert and ready in class. But I know that it was all about control. I would freak out if I gained even one pound. At one point I was down to 110 pounds on my 5'6 frame. My friends from home laughed and said eat a cheeseburger! But I know they were worried about me.
Now, I'm almost 30 and work full time. I'm at work most days for 9-10 hours or more. I cannot workout frantically and I get hungry and let's face it, my hormones have caused my once thin hips to become "baby ready." I cannot be 110 pounds. It was very hard for me at firt. I flirted with diet pills, cleanses and other things.
|Happy, healthy me!|
Then I realized I was hurting myself. I was unhappy, unhealthy, and most of all, hungry! Today I know that healthy is better than skinny. I am still thin, but its because I maintain a healthy diet and good exercise habits. I get to the gym at 5am before work and make delicious meals (when I have time) for my husband and I. I could blame TV, magazines or even the boyfriend who said mean things when I gained a little, but its me to blame. I let something other than my own brain control me. I do know that we need to stress to girls and women the importance of a healthy body image. It's not about a size on the dress or a number on the scale, its about health.
Come vist me sometime and read more about me and my life!