When you become a mommy, you become a mommy. Being a mom becomes a huge part of your identity.
Your duties at home double, quadruple maybe.
Added to the cleaning of the house, laundry, dishes, planning meals and cooking them, that you were already doing as a single woman and/or wife.
Top that with feeding the baby, changing diapers, washing more clothes, playing with baby, making sure you are doing the things you need to in order to cultivate learning in your baby so that they are "keeping up" and progressing smoothly to the next stages of life.
Mommy's have a lot of duties. Even mommies who are blessed to have a wonderful husband to help around the house, like myself, there are still Mommy Duties that are mommy duties.
Oh and did I mention all of this is usually on top of working some kind of job. (I commend and pray blessings on you mommies who work full time jobs as well as all of this). I am blessed to be able to stay home with Zander, while also doing my part of the at-home "hustlin" as we like to call it around here to make some income! (Let's just say I have a lot of little jobs, and we have our own small business that I manage)
In all of these duties, and lists of things that we as mommies are responsible for, where do WE come in. Not to say that we don't enjoy doing these things, because I don't take for granted how HUGE of a BLESSING IT IS TO BE MOMMY.
But in all the Mommy, do you ever feel like you have lost yourself!?
[bctt tweet="Have you lost yourself in the midst of being Mommy!? Tips on how to thrive in your identity! @brittanysuell #MommyMonday #LeaveYourLegacy"]
Just as important as it is to take care of our home and family, and be a good mommy, it's also crucial for us to take care of ourselves! When we are thriving in our own identity, (not just as mommy), then we are able to be the best version of us for ourselves, our children, and the world around us!
HOW TO THRIVE IN YOUR IDENTITY: (Finding Balance as Mommy & as Myself)
Start by asking yourself a few questions:
(avoid answering with things about our children)
- What do I love to do?
- What things bring me peace?
- What things make me the happiest?
- When I do this/have done this, I feel like I can conquer the world?
- What is one of my responsibilities that brings on the most stress in my life?
1. Figure out the things you love to do, or that brings peace in your life, and make those a priority?
-This can be as simple as having a cup of coffee in the morning, alone. So if that brings peace in your life, then make it a priority to wake up 15-30mins early and enjoy a cup of coffee in the mornings.
-If this is having a girls night out with your friends, or a pedicure once or twice a month, then make it a priority. Talk to your significant other and let them know how beneficial this would be to you. Or plan to get a babysitter for those nights. MAKE IT HAPPEN!
2. That thing that makes you feel like you can conquer the world! DO IT, and then go conquer your world!
-For me, there are two things. When I have worked out! Because duh, when I work out, I feel confident, and healthy! This sets me up for healthy choices, to be happier (scientifically working out makes you happier), makes me feel like I'm taking care of myself. So in return, I am happy to help take care of everyone else. Meal planning is easier and I"m thinking on a healthy level for myself and my family. I just feel good about myself! I'm working out every day then! right!?!?
-Another thing, may sound silly to some, but when my home is clean and in order, I feel like my life is together and I can do anything. Let's get real though, when you have kids, it's harder to keep everything clean. Recently, I got my husband to take my son to church, and I stayed home just to have extra time to deep clean out house. It was worth it and I felt great starting the week cleaned and organized. It might even be worth it to you to "outsource." Pay someone to clean your house when you just don't have time, once a week, or once a month. Don't feel bad about it. If that helps you be a better you and have more time for you, then do it!
3. Have adult time
Having adult time, and that doesn't mean going to work at the office, that means getting a baby sitter for date night's, or nights out with the friends. Even just a couple of times a month, this can be hugely beneficial for remember who you are, and being you (not mommy). When you are leaving the kids at home and getting out, you are forced to be you, and not hide behind your children or your mommy duties. You get to have real conversations, real fun, not worried about or watching out for anyone but yourself. It's fun, and you may see a side of you come out that you haven't seen in a while.
4. Find a Hobby
Find something you enjoy doing. Something that doesn't stress you out, but makes you happy, and then do it! And do it often. This can be what you do early mornings, during nap times, in the evenings, on the weekends. Just make time for it, and be happy while doing it!
5. What is your purpose, what are you passionate about, do it!
Sometimes, after you get thrown into the swings of being a parent, and you have been living, breathing motherhood and your sweet baby, you come to this place of wondering what your purpose is in life. Obviously, a valid answer and for some this is IT, could be, Being a Mom. And that is great. But for some, there's more! So taking time to discover yourself, what you are passionate about, what makes you feel like you have purpose and are making a difference. Those things are important too! This may be a very hard tip for some, because it takes time, and a lot of self-awareness and self-discovery to figure out. Don't be afraid to try out different things, even things that might involve your children. Just start the journey to figuring out what it is that you are passionate about. I think it's important for our children to see us pursuing these things as well, because it teaches them that life is more than just about us. It teaches them to go after things bigger than themselves in order to make a difference and change the world around them!
Being a mommy is such a blessing, but knowing your identity as YOU, while being a mommy is a blessing to yourself and everyone around you! Take time for this and discover you!
There are a few things that I love, and I have recently gotten this cute necklace to show what those are!
1. I am a mommy
2. I love coffee, and drinking it makes me feel at peace, and calm.
3. Working out is a big part of my life. That's how I make money, that's how I impact the world around me. I include my son in working out, in order to teach him the importance of living a healthy lifestyle. This encompasses, what I do for myself, for others, what I'm passionate about, my blogging, etc.
All these things matter to me, and describe who I am. So I recently got this necklace from Love Fitness Jewelry. It shows each of these things. I love wearing it to show off what I'm passionate about, but also to remind myself of what's important. Even if the coffee sounds silly, it has meaning to me, and that is what's important.
I love the idea of having this with me all the time to remind myself of WHO I AM!
You should definitely check out Love Fitness Jewelry. She has tons of cute designs that you can get as a necklace, keychain, or earrings! Or check her out on Instagram for all her cute pieces that she has made, plus she hosts some great giveaways there as well!
Leave a Comment: WHAT WOULD YOU PUT ON YOUR IDENTITY NECKLACE TO REMIND YOURSELF OF WHO YOU ARE?
Also, use this code, and get 15% OFF any purchase at the Love Fitness Jewelry website!
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